Vanity
by jennyxbc
Summary: "I never wanted to be your knight in shining armour," He ground out roughly, unable to think of anything else to say at her admittance. "That was always Nate's fantasy." AU but kind of the same.
1. Curiosity

_Pictures in magazines, movie screens  
Mirrors and cameras, so many beauty queens  
It's so good to be  
Fabulous and glamourous,  
We love ourselves and no one else  
__**Vanity.**_

**Chapter 1 - Curiosity**

He had been watching her for a while now. The girl wore dark jeans and a backless tank top, and he could see her leather jacket slung over the back of her stool. He recognised her from somewhere, though could not place her. She was mystery, and intrigue, and God, he wanted to taste it.

She sat alone at an unnamed, insignificant bar, one that was not crowded with intoxicated teenage girls, staring numbly at her untouched cherry martini. The girl had class, he could tell. She was visibly thin, with a slender neck and a collar bone that was more jutting than it probably should have been. She was delicate, vulnerable, almost; the depths of her haunting dark eyes transfixed on her martini glass. She could not have been more than nineteen, that much was obvious, but she seemed to sit within a cloud of maturity.

Her shoulders were slumped, as if the weight of the world was resting upon them, and her dark hair fell around her face, exposing the nape of her neck and revealing a small, black mark at the top of her spine.

She sat with her arms resting on the bartop, twisting a ring around the middle finger on her right hand, her tanned skin glimmering slightly in the dim light. The girl took a deep sigh, the sudden intake of breath highlighting the ribs of her back. She plucked the cherry from her martini and gently pulled the fruit from it's stem, chewing it slowly before placing the stone onto the napkin.

She glanced up at the time and took a deep swig from her glass, draining it of it's contents. The girl grimaced as the liquid made it's way down her throat, then nodded to the bartender to bring her another. The bartender looked concerned, but made no effort air his feelings. She smiled a small, grateful smile towards him, and he nodded courteously in reply, then took another sip of her renewed drink.

Carter stood up and made his way towards her. He stood slightly to her right, and, when she made no effort to look at him, he cleared his throat.

"Can I help you?" Her reply was instant, and she looked up at him almost immediately, her piercing brown eyes narrowing in discontempt. Carter shrugged in response and smirked.

"You look lonely."

Blair scoffed and raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm not. Thanks."

"I'm Carter Baizen." The boy offered his hand, and Blair stared at it, like it might bite her. He persisted, though, until Blair sighed and shook it warily, before looking back at her martini. Good manners didn't cost a penny.

"How wonderful for you," she replied haughtily, in a voice that clearly displayed her disdain at the boy in his slacks, a suit jacket and navy button down shirt. Guys like him were ten to the thousand, and she was definitely not impressed. She held back a groan as he sat down beside her. She rolled her eyes as his gaze slipped below her face and down to her cleavage.

"I don't recognise you, are you new to Manhattan?" The boy was very persistent, she had to give him that.

Blair rolled her eyes, but forced a smile. Turning to the brown haired boy, she said, "Something like that. Hi, I'm Blair."

In spite of herself, Blair offered her hand again, and Carter shook it wholeheartedly. He smiled at her, and her returning smile was genuine. Blair studied him; he had a cruel, thin mouth and sharp green eyes; his hair appeared to be brown, but if one looked more closely, it had undertones of honey; his suit jacket did not fit properly, and his hands were smaller than she would have expected.

She watched as he licked his lips as he shamelessly looked her up and down, taking in her shapely legs beneath her skinny jeans and the curve of her spine through her backless strappy top. As he gestured to the bar tender to bring her another drink, Blair scoffed once more in complete disbelief, and pulled a note from her clutch.

He turned back to her with a smile, but it quickly faded when he saw her drain the liquid from her glass, hand over a fifty dollar bill, gracefully slip on her leather jacket, and push back her stool. "If you'll excuse me, there's somewhere that I have to be. It was nice meeting you, Craig."

"It's Carter, actually," he called after her.

Chuck Bass lay in his lavish king-size bed and awoke with a groan, clutching his pounding head. He untangled himself from the two girls who lay there with him, not bothering to worry that he didn't remember the night before. He shook them roughly, and then stumbled into the bathroom to shower. The girls opened their eyes, blinked at their surroundings, before glancing at each other and smirking. They struggled out of bed, into last night's dresses and left Chuck's suite without a word. They knew him well enough by now to know that a hung-over Chuck Bass was not somebody you wanted to be around in the morning.

After a long, hot shower, Chuck dressed himself in his red and white striped pyjamas, and settled down on the couch for a day of "CSI: New York" catch up. He dozed off after the second episode, however, and was awoken by his best friend's on-off girlfriend banging on the door of his suite.

"Chuck? Chuck! I know you're in there! How many times do I have to tell you? You are not allowed to sleep with my f-ing friends!"

Chuck rubbed his eyes blearily and staggered towards the door, opening it wide enough so she could squeeze through the gap. "Serena."

She flounced into the room, turned off the TiVo and opened the curtains that hid the floor length windows of his suite. "Chuck, why didn't you hang out with Penelope last night? Like I told you too?"

He raised an eyebrow in response, and in spite of himself, Chuck laughed. "When will you realise, sis; I'm not one of your pathetic little lapdogs that you can back into corners. I'm Chuck Bass. "

Serena narrowed her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "I am _not_ your sister. Just because your dad and my mom are engaged does not mean we will _ever_ be related. Thank God. Speaking of, what's up with you in your suite and not in the 'family' apartment upstairs?"

Chuck scowled. "Bart. Unless I have a 'serious' girlfriend, I am not 'allowed' to bring 'conquests' into the family home." He scratched his chin and grimaced when it felt tender. He hadn't been punched again, had he?

Serena spoke again, distracting him from his thoughts. "Anyway, Bart said you have to make yourself presentable for dinner. Chop, chop!"

Getting ready for school the following day, Chuck couldn't seem to fight an unfamiliar feeling of excitement from his stomach. Everything seemed different, somehow; everything seemed to be upside down. Perhaps it was because it was the first day of senior year. Sipping contentedly on his orange juice, he smirked from the doorway of Serena's room as she made every effort to make sure her outfit looked like careless perfection. Serena looked up at him and grimaced as she pulled on her jacket.

From the moment her Dolce adorned feet had gracefully stepped out of the limo, she had unintentionally commanded the attention of every student, parent and staff member present at the front entrance of Constance Billiard and St Judes. Placing both her feet onto the pavement, Blair plucked her sunglasses from her eyes and pushed them back to rest on her effortlessly perfect hair, like a headband, the two Chanel C's glittering in the early September sun.

She walked briskly, with an air of importance, though smiled politely as people made a pathway for her through the yard. She wore lace, peep-toe boots, a navy high-waisted skirt and a white shirt, with just large piece of navy ribbon tied in a bow for her Constance "tie". She carried her Chanel tote in the crook of her delicate elbow; the swing of her hips was rhythmical and the clack of her heels on the concrete seemed to scream "I'm over here!".

Eyes followed her every move. Whispers of, "I'm sure I know her," and "Oh my effing God, that's...", and Blair had to concentrate from keeping the smirk off of her face.

She hadn't graced the Upper East Side with her presence in two and a half years. She was not the new kid on the block. She was not some pathetic helpless nobody who'd crawled from the depths of Social Oblivion.

She was Blair Waldorf. And she was back.

She slammed her locker closed and cursed under her breath when she heard an excited squeal behind her.

"Oh my God! Blair? Is that you?"

Blair took a second to compose her plastic, society smile. She knew who it was, how could she not? She'd always come second best to that voice, that hair, that persona of perfection surrounding "golden girl" Serena.

"S! Oh my God! Hi!"

Blair held out her arms as Serena rushed forward. Blair had never been a hugging type of person, but with Serena, she had always made an exception. Serena pulled out of the hug and placed her hands on Blair's upper arms, distancing their two bodies. After looking Blair up and down, Serena grinned.

"Well, it has to be said. You look amazing!"

Blair smiled sheepishly. "Well, like, I've totally been, like, hanging out at, like, the beach with, like, everyone, like everyday! Beverly Hills High was, like, totally close to the beach. Like." The two girls looked at eachother sombrely for a moment, before bursting into laughter. "So, like, do I sound like a totaaaal 'Valley Girl'? Like?" Serena guffawed for a moment before giggling again. She wiped tears from her eyes, and then grinned at Blair.

"Do you really talk like that?"

Blair raised an eyebrow. "Are you f-ing kidding me?"

They laughed again, as Serena linked her arm through Blair's and pulled her into the courtyard. "Come on, B, you have to meet everyone!"

Blair shot her a funny look. "Are you forgetting that I grew up here too?"

Serena rolled her eyes in response and stopped in front of her friends. Blair smiled at them, her eyes taking in Penelope, Hazel, Kati, Is and two smaller girls sitting at the back of the group.

"Blair, this is-"

"Penelope, Hazel, Kati and Is," Blair interrupted her, "Yeah, S, I remember," then, to the four girls, "It's nice to see you again." The two at the back of the group shifted slightly and looked uncomfortable, and the blonde one stood to leave. Serena frowned at her, and she immediately sat back down.

"Blair, this is Jenny," she gestured to the blonde girl, "And this is Elise. They're sophomores."

Blair nodded at them politely, and then smiled at a boy over Serena's shoulder. "Nate, how are you?"

Nate laughed and took Blair's left hand, making her twirl for him. "I'm good. And I can see that you are too! You don't even look like Blair anymore." He grinned at her, as he put his other arm around Serena and kissed the top of her head. Blair's smile softened at the sight of them.

"Well, aren't you two a sight for sore eyes? I always knew you'd end up together." Serena and Nate both laughed, before smiling at eachother adoringly. "God, I said you were cute, get a room!" The group of girls sitting around the marble table laughed along with Blair, who smirked at them.

"So, wheres..." Blair was cut off by the bell, soon followed by a unanimous groan that swept through the courtyard like a Mexican wave. "Never mind. I'll see you at lunch, S?"

Serena bit her lip. "Well, Nate and I were gonna go grab a bite down the street, but you're welcome to-"

"No, no. It's fine," Blair smiled at her reassuringly. "I'll just lunch with the girls."

Two hours into her first day at Constance Billiard, Blair had been sent out of one of her classes.

Was it her fault that she'd already done the course? Was it her fault that she'd been in an advanced placement class last semester? Was it her fault that she'd aced it?

So what if she'd happened to have gotten bored whilst her Chemistry teacher was prattling on about ionic combustion? So what if she'd accidentally on purpose set a text book on fire with a Bunsen burner? It wasn't like she couldn't buy the school another one. She snorted in memory of Ms Hall's reaction. The 'fire' had been so little, Blair had been able to blow it out. But, no, Ms Hall had "removed" her from the classroom. So she'd picked up her Chanel, rolled her eyes at her professor, and settled herself on one of the benches in the courtyard.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't who used to be Blair Waldorf."

Blair felt the hairs on the back of her neck prick up as a shiver ran up her spine. Somehow she managed to hide her anticipation enough to plaster a smirk on her face as she turned to face the owner of the voice.

"Chuck Bass. My, my, my."

They held eachothers eyes for a moment, before his eyes slid down her face, resting for a moment on her cherry red lips, before continuing on down her body, his eyes widening slightly once they reached her exposed legs. She stood up and cocked a hip, placing a polished finger on her chin. "How long has it been? Two, maybe three years?"

Chuck swallowed thickly before answering. "Two and a half." Blair's eyes swung to his and softened. "You left just after Christmas."

"It's been too long."

"That it has, Blair. Though I must say; West Coast most certainly looks good on you."

Blair smiled and nodded. "It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be," she agreed, her dark eyes twinkling in the morning sunlight.

"You've changed," he stated sombrely.

She smirked in return. "That I have."

"Is it really you?" His voice dropped to a gravelly whisper, and for a moment, Blair could see the vulnerable little boy that he used to be. His eyes shone with emotion, communicating those feelings that he was not yet ready to say.

"It's really me, Chuck," she replied, her own voice low and calm.

Chuck smiled; it wasn't his usual, "I'm Chuck Bass" smirk, it was a genuine smile. "It wasn't the same..." _I've missed you. _"Not having somebody to scheme with." _I'm glad you're back. _"I've been surrounded by amateurs." _Nobody could ever replace you. _

"I know what you mean," Blair smiled sadly, shaking her head slightly as she ran a shaking hand through her hair. "It feels like I haven't even been away." _My feelings haven't gone away. _

"I feel the same." _I feel the same._

**(I own nothing except my plotline. Everything belongs to Cecily, Josh and Stephanie.)**


	2. Stupidity

_Pictures in magazines, movie screens  
Mirrors and cameras, so many beauty queens  
It's so good to be  
Fabulous and glamourous,  
We love ourselves and no one else  
__**Vanity.**_

**Chapter 2 - Stupidity**

It was free period. After a very unfulfilling pot of yogurt, Blair stood alone close to the front of school, fingering the solid silver lighter in her pocket with her right hand, holding a cherry-red lollipop to her cherry-red lips with the other. It wasn't that she smoked, no, but the lighter had been a gift from her father's fiancé when she'd gone through a phase of "fashionable smoking" whilst spending a Christmas in Paris the previous year.

It had happened in the midst of a dispute between herself and her father, and in an effort to rebel, she'd bought cigarettes. It hadn't had the desired effect, though.

"_Look, Daddy. I'm smoking."_

_Harold laughed. "Blair-bear, this is Paris. Everybody smokes in Paris."_

She took out the lighter and the flame flickered in the light fall breeze. Too busy focusing on the dancing flame, Blair failed to notice the blonde sophomore dashing by, consequently knocking the lighter out of her hand.

"Hey! Would you watch where the F you're-" Jenny was quickly silenced by a death glare from Blair, who was holding the two pieces of the now broken lighter. "Oh-my-God, I am _so _sorry, B!"

Blair stood up and raised an eyebrow in that intimidating way that she had perfected. "Only my _friends _call me B," she stated ominously. Drawing herself up to her full height, Blair stared coldly at the blonde in front of her. "And a friend to me you are not."

Jenny's bottom lip started to tremble. "I'm really sorry... I honestly didn't see you there, Blair. I'll replace it, I swear..." The girl hastily reached for her purse in despair, as the first tear fell down her pale cheek.

"God, Little J; pull yourself together!" Blair inwardly triumphed when the girl's face fell slightly at her new nickname. Bitch had broken her lighter and only apologised _after_ she'd seen who it belonged to. She deserved to be knocked down a peg or two. "Didn't anybody tell you? Frailty is not an attractive quality. Vulnerability, maybe; but never frailty. As for my lighter, I'm afraid it was hand-made in Paris, and has my initials engraved on it."

Blair held up the bottom part of the lighter, clearly displaying the elegant "BW" inscription.

Jenny's face flushed and she bit her lip. "I'm sorry Blair. I didn't realise." She was wary of Blair; she'd heard rumours about the temperament and calculating nature of the brunette and did not want to test their worth.

"No, you didn't. And you only apologised _after _you realised it was me." Blair's mouth fell into its natural pout and she put a hand on her hip, narrowing her eyes at the younger, albeit slightly taller girl.

"Blair, I really am sorry," Jenny gushed, desperate to get back on her good side. "If I'd of known that it was you-" the blonde stopped short, realising her mistake. _Mistake number one. _

Blair stepped towards Jenny, so their faces were only a couple of inches apart. She was a little shorter than the sophomore, even in her heels, but she thrust her chin upwards and stared directly into her eyes.

"Exactly. _'If you'd of known that it was me'._ I don't like social climbers who use the people at the top to get what they want. I've seen a dozen of you, Little Jenny Humphrey; girls from the wrong side of the bridge, desperate for a one way ticket to the money, the guys and the parties," Jenny went to interrupt Blair, but she raised her eyebrows, and Jenny was immediately silenced, "No, don't you dare interrupt me; you know that I'm right. I don't trust girls like you; you're fake, you dig for gossip and bring nothing but drama. Well, be warned right now, if, down the line, I find out that you've even slightly marred the reputation of my best friend, you'll hear from me. As for right now, I suggest you stay out of my way. Am I clear?"

Jenny lowered her eyes from the older girl's, and it was obvious that Blair was deadly serious. "Crystal," she squeaked in response.

Blair gestured towards the school with a tilt of her head. "Run along," she instructed coolly, following the blonde's retreat with narrowed eyes. Jenny turned to look back once, and Blair simply stared at her in response. A flushed Jenny let out another squeak and carried on into the main building.

**Spotted: Jenny Humphrey looking red faced and humiliated after experiencing a thorough dressing down from our potential new Queen. Better watch out, Little J; something tells me this isn't over, and it's never a smart idea to make an enemy out of someone on the rise. You know you love me, **

**XOXO**

**Gossip Girl.**

Chuck smirked as he looked at the blast. Good. He'd never liked the catty sophomore, especially since she'd turned him down at the Kiss on the Lips party last year. He had always said that the blonde was as fake as her hair colour, and apparently a certain Blair Waldorf had picked up on the same vibe. Interesting.

God, he'd missed her.

"Blair?"

The brunette frowned as she turned to face her best friend. "S?"

"Was it really necessary to do that to Jenny? On your first day back here? She's practically inconsolable right now. She's under the impression that you hate her."

Though she longed to say _'Good, I do,_' Blair simply raised her eyebrows but smiled nonetheless, leaning forward to pat Serena's arm condescendingly. "Serena, she's trouble. You'll see."

"Blair-"

"No, S; every single word I said to her is true. _And_ she broke my lighter."

"Blair, do you even smoke?"

"I really do not see what that has to do with anything."

Blair smiled serenely as the taller blonde mulled over her words. "Whatever, B. She was really upset when she came to me." _Ah. Mistake number two, Little J._ "Just give her a chance."

Rolling her eyes, Blair groaned in agreement. _"Fine. _One chance," She held up a pointer finger to drive the point home."One**.**" _Not that Blair planned on letting her make more than three mistakes without punishment, anyway, but this killed two birds with one stone. _

"So."

"So?"

"I saw the blast."

Blair's brown eyes swivelled to the eyes of the boy sitting beside her. "Would you like a 'well done'? Or is my wonderful sarcasm gift enough?"

"Blair, I'm serious. Jenny's okay. Get to know her."

"Nate, no; I don't trust her."

"You don't trust her because you can't control her."

Blair raised an eyebrow. "Don't underestimate me, Nate. Besides, I haven't even _tried_ to control her. Why bother when Serena has Constance covered? As much as I love being the one at the top, she's my best friend, and unlike her, I don't take things from my friends." She looked pointedly at Nate, keeping her face serious for a moment, before they both laughed a little.

"Blair, I'm serious. I think you should apologise to her."

She blinked innocently back at him. "To Serena? Whatever for?"

He pushed her arm playfully and smiled at her. "To _Jenny_. It was pretty harsh of you to do that to her this afternoon. You're frightening at your best, Blair; was it really fair of you to 'release your wrath' on her without even attempting to get to know her?"

Blair stared at him. "God, Archibald, I don't think I've heard you say so much all at once. Ever."

"Blair!"

She narrowed her eyes, but sighed in resignation. "Must you always play my conscience?"

Nate laughed. "Someone has to. If you and Chuck were left to your own devices you'd probably destroy everybody but yourselves."

Unable to argue with him, Blair relented. "I'll make you a deal. I won't apologise. _But, _I will make an _attempt_ to be _civil_ towards her."

"Deal."

Staring at eachother sombrely for a moment, the two shook hands, before grinning at eachother.

"So."

"So?"

"What's the deal with you and Chuck?"

Blair feigned interest in her shoes. Not that they weren't perfectly interesting in their own right, (they were this season's Dolce-must-haves, hand-made, over $600...), but she wanted to avoid this conversation as much as possible. "Deal? There's no deal."

"Come on, Blair. What happened?"

Blair looked at him for a moment, before grimacing and shaking her head. "I can't talk about this with you. It's weird," Blair checked the time on her Ssidekick and groaned. "Look, I gotta go."

Nate leaned over, and, seeing the time, stood up, pulling Blair with him. "Me too. I'm meeting Serena for-" He trailed off when he saw the beaming smile on Blair's face. "What?"

"Awww, Nate! You get such a cute look on your face when you talk about her."

Nate blushed. "I do not. _Shut up!_" He stuck out his tongue towards her, and they both laughed. "Are you going to Butter tonight?"

Blair rolled her eyes. "I suppose so. That is _so_ not my scene. Did you know Penelope has the biggest crush on Chuck? Ugh. Whatever."

Nate laughed again and reached out to ruffle her hair. "You know, you're more Valley Girl than you let on. You don't fool me, B."

Blair slapped his hand away. "Never the hair, Nate. Never, _ever_ the hair."

"Right. _'Only your boyfriend gets to touch your hair.' _I remember."

"Something like that. I'll see you later." And with that, Blair stood up from the steps and walked out of school, climbing into the limo that had conveniently pulled up directly outside the entrance just seconds after she'd stood up. Nate watched her go, wondering where the hell this alien version Blair Waldorf had come from.

That night at Butter, Blair, Serena, Kaati, Is, Hazel and Penelope sat around one of the larger tables. Whilst Serena, Kaati, Is and Hazel were already quite inebriated, Blair and Penelope sat at opposite ends of the table, staring eachother down. It was a power struggle between an obvious winner and an obvious looser, and Penelope had never been one to accept defeat gracefully.

Penelope sipped a martini. Blair's glass of what had been scotch was empty._ Penelope 0 - Blair 1_

Penelope's dress was lemon coloured, tight, low cut and ridiculously short. Blair's was black, green and blue, and looked mariginally more expensive. _Penelope 0 - Blair 2_

Penelope's hair was ironed straight, her bangs emphasizing her large nose. Blair's hair was teased into perfection and hung loosely around her shoulders, the tips of her hair just catching underneath her breasts. _Penelope 0 - Blair 3_

The only field that Penelope had excelled in was the breast area, and Blair knew that at heart, Chuck was an ass guy.

Blair had her back to the entrance, but it was still obvious when Chuck walked in with his friends. Penelope fluffed her hair, pouted her lips and yanked her dress down a further inch, almost revealing her nipples. Blair scoffed and rolled her eyes at the amateur effort the other brunette was giving, and looked around for a waitress to bring her something a little stronger. Catching the attention of one, she mouthed, "Scotch, on the rocks," and sat back in her seat.

"Giving up so soon, B?" Penelope smarmed.

One day, Penelope would learn. Inwardly, Blair seethed. Outwardly, she was the ice queen. "No,_ P, _because you know as well as I do that there is no competition."

Before she could reply, another voice spoke up. "I feel inclined to agree with you, Waldorf."

Blair answered this with a smirk that matched his own. "Nice of you to show up, Bass."

"Always a pleasure." He brushed Blair's hair from the nape of her neck and ran his fingers into her hair. To anybody watching, he just looked as if he was standing very closely behind her. Blair held back a purr at his ministrations.

Penelope caught Chuck's attention, and he nodded at her with his own smirk on his face, tipping his drink towards her in a mock-toast. The waitress placed Blair's own drink down onto the table, but Blair immediately plucked it from the napkin and stood up, clearing her throat as she did so to gain the attention of her friends sitting around the table, not failing to notice how closely Chuck was now pressed up against her back.

"I propose a toast. To old friends, new beginnings, and senior year!" She offered calmly, never once loosing face as Penelope glared up at her.

"Old friends, new beginnings, and senior year," echoed her friends, each smiling at her sentiment. Blair raised her glass to her lips , her beautiful smile dancing on her face. She turned back towards Chuck who smiled at her. She tugged on his hand, gesturing for him to follow her, and he nodded.

It wasn't particularly cold outside, but Blair's skin goosepimpled all the same. "I guess I've not adjusted to the temperature yet."

Chuck chuckled his deep, throaty laugh, then sighed. "Blair?"

"Chuck?"

A moment between them passed; just Blair and Chuck; just Chuck and Blair, like they used to be, before the sex, the drugs, the gossip; when they were just two vulnerable fourteen year olds who loved eachother. Blair threw herself across the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers fisting in his thick hair. He didn't hesitate for a moment, and responded by wrapping his own arms around her waist, one creeping up her back to cup the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair. _Because only Chuck gets to touch her hair._

They stayed like that for a few minutes, hidden down an alley way at the side of a busy restaurant, where the world did not exist, away from Gossip Girl and all her teenage spies, and they could be whoever they wanted to be, and right now, they were Chuck and Blair.

Blair pulled back her head from the crook of his neck, and looked deeply into his smouldering hazel eyes, stroking the left side of his face with her right hand. "Hi," she whispered softly.

"Hi," he replied, just as softly. Around everybody else, and admittedly around him 90% of the time, Blair was strong and independent. So was he. But in these few quiet moments when they both allowed those tough inner walls to come crumbling down were the tiny moments when they could think that they could actually stand a chance together.

"Let me take you out," he whispered huskily.

Blair raised an eyebrow, but a small smile crept it's way onto her face. "What?"

"Let me take you out."

"I heard what you said, I just didn't believe it. The great womanizing Chuck Bass wants to take me out. And to think this is only my second _official _day in New York. Won't that damage your image?" She teased, poking him lightly in the chest.

He grabbed her hand and made her look into his eyes. "Blair, please. Let me take you out," he insisted.

Blair seemed to mull this over for a moment, biting her lip as if she was in deep thought, then, "Where?"

"It's a surprise."

"Done."

Chuck grinned at her, and had to hold himself back from pressing a kiss to the top of her forehead, a kiss to the tip of her adorable little nose, a kiss to her slender nuckles, a kiss to her full, ruby lips... Looking away, he took a deep breath to steel himself, before smirking again. "We should go back inside." She nodded in response and, placing his hand onto the small of her back, led her back into the building. The second they were within sight of anybody, Chuck regretfully withdrew his hand. It was Gossip Girl country, after all.

They shared a a wistful smile, their eyes smouldering into the other's, before disappearing into opposite corners of the restaurant.

They could only ever be vulnerable with eachother, and that made them value the company of the other that little bit more. Chuck Bass would always be Chuck Bass. Blair Waldorf would always be Blair Waldorf. But when they were together, they built up a little fortress around themselves and their emotions, one which only they could build, one which only they could destroy. Half the fun for Chuck was getting to seige Blair's inner castle walls over and over again, and Blair would never admit that she let him tear down each and every one of those walls until they were brick dust.

For the rest of the world, these walls were, and always would be, impenetrable.


	3. Clarity

_Pictures in magazines, movie screens  
Mirrors and cameras, so many beauty queens  
It's so good to be  
Fabulous and glamourous,  
We love ourselves and no one else  
__**Vanity.**_

**Chapter 3 - Clarity**

It was Wednesday lunch time and Blair sat surrounded by Serena's "minions", and since Nate had soccer practice, Serena had also decided to grace the girls with her presence.

"So, B; where did you and Chuck get the other night? At Butter?" Serena questioned innocently as she pretended to inspect her manicured fingernails. Blair did not fail to notice how the ears of the girls around her pricked up at the mention of gossip, and she held back a smirk as Penelope noticeably gritted her teeth.

Blair laughed. "S, you're about as subtle as a sledgehammer."

Serena shoved Blair slightly, then laughed herself. "Whatever! Where did you go?"

Blair smiled sweetly at the girls. "Could you give us some privacy please?" Instead of looking to Serena for confirmation like they should have done, the girls hesitated for a moment, then stood and walked into school. "Thank god. I'm almost positive that Penelope's sole interest in life is to irritate me to death. And I'm surprised you even noticed Chuck and I leave. It was after your third shot."

"Fourth, actually, but that's beside the point."

Blair rolled her eyes, but turned to face her best friend. "We just... talked. It feels like it should be complicated, but it's not. I don't know, S," Blair sighed heavily. "But it's Chuck, you know? Just because I was in LA for two years does not mean that I didn't keep up-to-date with Gossip Girl. He sure as hell didn't waste any time," She said bitterly, pinching the bridge of her nose between her forefinger and thumb for a moment. She stirred her apricot yoghurt a final time before wrinkling her nose and placing it down beside her.

"I wish I could tell you that he's a good guy but, well, it's _Chuck, _B. Being a 'bad guy' is his _thing._"

"I know, S, I know."

"What if he hurts you?"

Blair scoffed and smirked. "Please. I'm Blair Waldorf."

"And he's Chuck Bass." Serena seemed to think about what she'd just said. "Dear lord, save us!" she cried.

"Come on, S. Let's ditch the rest of the day and go shopping."

Serena snorted looked at her like she was crazy. "Oh yeah, that'll go down well. Your second day at Constance and you're already skipping class."

"So? You're Serena Van der Woodsen! I'm appealing to your inner party girl!"

"I'm afraid she's not available," Serena fired back at her, grinning widely.

"Come _on_! Let's go before anybody sees us!" Blair tugged on Serena's hand, hauling them both to their feet. "I need to find a dress for Friday."

Serena looked at Blair, interested in spite of herself. "Friday?"

Blair smirked at her. She knew she had her. "I'll tell you on the way."

Chuck watched the exchange between Blair and Serena from one of the upper library windows. Studying their faces closely, he saw his name mentioned several times by Serena, before Blair dragged her to her feet. The word "ditching" was clearly mentioned, and despite Serena's initial protests, Blair got what she wanted. Like she always did. He smiled as they got into a cab. It was almost frightening how much he and Blair had in common.

Settled safely (or not so safely, in Blair's opinion) in the back of a cab, Serena turned to Blair expectantly. "Friday?"

Blair smirked. "Eventuellement mon cher."

Serena looked warily back at her. "Um..."

Blair rolled her eyes in response, but smiled. "I'll tell you later."

"You speak French now?"

"But of course. I spent most of freshman year in France."

"What?"

Blair's smile fell from her face, and she seemed to freeze up. "After my mom, uh, you know." Blair's voice trailed off and her eyes grew heavy.

Serena looked mortified and gazed haphazardly at her best friend; she saw the sudden wetness of her eyes, the steeliness of Blair's jaw as she gritted her teeth, half expecting the iron walls to crumble and Blair to fall to pieces, but it never came.

"Oh. B..." Serena began guiltily, placing her hand over Blair's. Out of all of her friends, only Nate, Serena and Chuck knew what had really happened to Eleanor. The public story wasn't true; it hadn't been a car accident, it'd been a desperate woman in her early forties who was so trapped that she'd ended her life. Blair had never let on how much it'd scarred her.

"I'm fine," Blair removed her hand from underneath Serena's. "Could we please change the subject?"

"Blair..."

"I said _I'm fine,_" she bit out, for herself more than Serena.

"No, B, we're here."

Blair's eyes flickered to the window, and she sighed. "Cab's on me. It was my idea, after all." She pulled a hundred dollar bill from her purse, thrust it into the hand of the cab driver and climbed out of the cab, slamming the door behind her. Serena smiled at the cabbie apologetically, who shrugged in return, then jumped out of the cab and chased Blair into the store.

In an effort to change the subject, Serena picked up a dress that was exactly the same as the one Penelope had been wearing at Butter the previous night, only it was blue. "Look, B. Who am I?"

In spite of herself and her bad mood, Blair laughed heartily. "Oh, _Penelope_, I can't quite see what you had for breakfast. Perhaps you should roll the skirt up a little more, oui?" Then, "Oh, non! The front is much too high. Your nipples are not showing!" Serena laughed loudly as Blair continued to berate the dress. "Blue, P, really? Non; that is not trashy enough; you must wear _sunshine yellow_!"

Blair's phone chirped and she ignored it, choosing instead to inspect the blue dress that she'd previously been verbally destroying. "You know, it's a shame that Penelope had to ruin this dress. It's actually 'Alice and Olivia', and it's not that bad. Poor dress for having to be a part of P's fashion distaster."

Her phone chirped insistently again, and Serena groaned. "Blair, please look at the text. I cannot deal with _that_ noise for the rest of the afternoon."

Sighing in resignation, Blair looked at her phone.

_B -  
Better bring your sea legs on Friday ;)  
__**- C**_

"Blair?" Serena questioned.

"S?"

"Will you _please_ enlighten me on your plans for Friday?"

"Oh! Chuck's 'taking me out'," said Blair breezily, picking up items, frowning and putting them back down again. "And I've just been instructed to 'bring my sea legs', whatever that means. I'm thinking red and white..."

Blair carried on with her browsing, humming lightly under her breath. Noticing Serena was not by her side, she looked back to where she'd last seen her. Sure enough, Serena was frozen on the spot, open mouthed. "Earth to Serena?"

"Chuck's taking you out? Like on a _real_ date?"

Blair shrugged. "Sure, I guess so. I'm not expecting much; maybe dinner in his hotel room."

"B!" The blonde squealed, "Do you have any idea what his means? Chuck _does not_ date. He hooks up with random girls and then kicks them out of his hotel room. He does not make plans for a date, and- Wait!" She held up her hands, her palms facing Blair. "When did he ask you to go out?"

"Monday."

"And you waited until Wednesday to share?"

Blair gave her a pointed look. "Just because I don't mind certain aspects of my life being splashed onto page six and onto pathetic blogging websites, doesn't mean that there aren't things that I would like to keep private. I can see it now; _'Bad-boy bachelor beds bitchy B'."_

Serena's eyebrows rose but she kept her opinion quiet. "Ah."

"Yes."

Serena was silent for a moment, mulling over this new information. She shrugged and smiled. "So, sea legs, huh?"

"Apparently, yeah," Blair laughed and linked her arm through Serena's. "Come on. I have an idea. Let's go."

It was last period on Friday afternoon, and Blair groaned for the third time as her calculus professor once again explained the relevance of the vector of a line to trigonometry. God, were these people amateurs? It seemed that the kids who weren't as bright, namely Penelope and Hazel, were deliberately trying to piss her off. Stifling a yawn, Blair heard a laugh, _his_ laugh. She looked to her left and found Chuck smirking back at her. She rolled her eyes and mimed slitting her wrists, and Chuck grinned. She looked at the clock; only five more minutes of tedium left before it would be time for her to go home and get ready for her 'date', if you could call it that.

The bell signalling the end of the day rang, and Blair frowned as Penelope waited by the door, her eyes planted firmly on Chuck. Blair stepped past her, smiling her coy little society smile, but waited on the other side of the door. She would be able to hear every word.

"Chuck?" Penelope's eagerness was almost sickening.

Chuck gave a tired sigh. "Yes?"

"What're you doing tonight? I've reserved a table at Socialista, if you're-"

"On the contrary, I have plans."

Blair could almost hear Penelope's face fall. "But, surely they could be-"

"No. They're important. Excuse me."

Blair looked around for something to hide behind, but, seeing nothing, stood as nonchalantly as she possibly could against the lockers at the side of the door. Inspecting her nails, Blair felt her face twist into a look of boredom.

Chuck exited the room, and bumped straight into her, knocking her books onto the floor. As they bent down to pick them up together, they each smiled a chagrined smile. _Well, if this isn't a cliché, I don't know what is, _thought Blair, holding back a gasp as their hands brushed against the other's and electricity sparked, as it always did.

"Blair?" Chuck's tone was sombre; concerning.

"Chuck?" she replied carefully.

"I'll pick you up at 7:30." All heaviness was lost from Chuck's voice and he smirked at her, handing her the rest of her books. They stood up together, and Chuck leaned forward to kiss her cheek. "Don't be late. It's important."

Blair murmured a quiet "Sure," and smiled at him, and, collecting her Prada from her locker, made her way out of the school building. The night would be nothing if not eventful.

"Chuck, are you seriously going to do this?"

He glared at Serena in the mirror, then turned to face his stepsister with an incredulous look on his face. "Of course I am."

"Blair's been through a lot. She needs structure and someone who'll be there for her, not a playboy. Don't do this unless you're serious about her. She deserves someone who can-"

"Serena, as much as I admire you trying to look out for her, have you forgotten that I was the first one she called after 'the incident'?"

"No, but-"

"And have you forgotten who's shoulder Blair cried on throughout the funeral?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Serena, who did Blair loose her virginity too?"

"You, but-"

"Who did _I_ loose _my _virginity too?"

"Blair, but-"

"And who has been the only person to stand by her through everything? The wild partying, the drugs, the general craziness that followed her mom's death? Who was it who defended her time and time again? Who was it who searched Manhattan almost every night, looking for her?"

Serena sighed in defeat. "You."

"Thank you. When it comes to Blair, S, I am nothing but serious."

"If I find out you've hurt her, I'll be coming for you."

Chuck scoffed. "Please. Your 'punishments' have never and will never work."

Serena's cheeks reddened. "Whatever. Just be careful."

"Oh, I always am. Safe sex and all that," He smirked, and Serena slapped his arm.

"Gross."

"Enjoy your evening, sis," Chuck nodded at her as he stepped past her and out of his bedroom.

"I'm not your F-ing sister," she called after him, a smile on her face.

Chuck walked out of the family apartment and into the elevator. He rubbed at his chin in thought; he should've shaved. Dammit, he should've shaved. He wanted to look his best for Blair. Dressed in a faintly pinstriped navy suit, a crisp white shirt with silk threading, a red bowtie and a red 'kercheif, he looked the business. He sat in his limo, absentmindely staring out of the window as he contemplated the night ahead.

Chuck stepped into the Waldorf apartment with a grimace. It hadn't changed much in the three years that Blair had been away. Stacks of folded fabric stood under two of the small tables in the entrance area, and some sheets still covered items of furniture in the living room. Only the piano and the white couch was uncovered.

"Mister Chuck?" Darota approached him from behind; she'd been in her room at the other end of the apartment. She smiled hesitantly and gestured to the white couch, which he sat down upon. "Miss Blair say she will be down in a minute."

Chuck stood and made his way to the stairs, and Darota hastily dashed in front of him. "She also say that Mister Chuck must wait downstairs."

He opened his mouth to reply, but was silenced by the sight of the dark haired beauty descending the stairs before him.

"Close your mouth, Bass."

Chuck looked her up and down and smirked again. "You look..." He stared at her exposed tanned legs for a moment. "There are no words."

"Thank you," Blair graced him with a smile and tweaked his bowtie.

"Shall we?" Chuck offered his arm and Blair tucked hers through it. She smiled at Darota as Chuck pulled her towards the elevator. "Don't wait up, Darota."

Blair scoffed at him. "Excuse me?"

He smiled at her. "Trust me."

She bit her lip, as if considering it, then, "Fine. As long you promise that I will return with my Chanel, my shoes and with my clothes intact."

"Define 'intact'?" Chuck smirked at her. Blair blushed a little but raised her eyebrows insistently until Chuck held a hand up in defeat. "Okay. I promise."

"Good. Where are we even going?"

The elevator arrived at Blair's floor and they stepped inside. "You'll see."

"Am I dressed appropriately?" She did a little twirl as Chuck looked down onto her outfit.

"Appropriately is an understatement," he bit out, admiring the sight of her ass in her shorts and the length of her exposed neck.

The trip to the harbour was quiet and uneventful, the two teenagers making harmless banter between them, each avoiding the giant purple elephant in the room. "Where are we going?" Blair asked for the millionth time. The limo pulled to a stop, and Chuck fastened a silk piece of fabric around her eyes.

"You'll see."

He guided her out of the limo and along the docks until they reached where they were going. He untied the blindfold and she cautiously opened her eyes.

"Chuck, you didn't!" She took in the sight before her, then turned and gazed at Chuck in wonderment.

"I did," he admitted sheepishly, "It was what you wanted for your fifteenth birthday party, and I hate to think that you missed out on the experience."

Blair's eyes flickered back to the large yacht before them. It was dusk; the sky was a beautiful orange, and across the water, the lights of New York were beginning to come alive. "This is amazing, Chuck. How did you do this?" She didn't wait for an answer, instead grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the _'Calypso'_. "I can't believe this."

Once on the yacht, Chuck nodded to the captain who smiled at him, and they sailed out onto the Hudson river. "We're having dinner on the outside deck upstairs. It's a little cold, but you'll love the view," He assured her, and she nodded, still too distracted by their surroundings to take it in properly.

"Why did you do this for me, Chuck?"

"You know why, Blair."

Her big brown eyes searched to find his; they shined with all of the tears that she hadn't let herself cry, her mind clouding over she thought of the last time they were properly alone. It had been that night. _That night._ So many good things and so many bad things had happened all at once. Perhaps now, almost three years to the day, they could finally fix things between them.

Maybe tonight was the night to mend their broken hearts.


	4. Reality

_Pictures in magazines, movie screens  
Mirrors and cameras, so many beauty queens  
It's so good to be  
Fabulous and glamourous,  
We love ourselves and no one else  
__**Vanity.**_

**Chapter 4 - Reality**

They ate their fancy dinner in an almost awkward silence, neither wanting to bridge the gap of conversation. The yacht was moving now, albeit slowly, but the crisp New York evening was enough to goosepimple Blair's legs. Chuck looked up and gazed intently into her eyes.

"Chuck..." Blair's hand reached across the table, but before her fingertips grazed his hand, he pushed back his chair, the legs scraping on the floor, and stood at the rail. His hands gripped the metal as he looked out across the water.

"I waited for you, Blair." He slammed his hand down on the bar in frustration.

"Please don't do this now. Don't spoil the night," she pleaded in a whisper, her eyes closing in anticipation of the coming onslaught. Because yes, she definitely knew what was coming, and it would not be pleasant.

"September fifteenth. That was the day Eleanor died."

Blair cringed.

"For the whole of September, we waited for the tears. We waited for you to break. Even at the funeral, you just seemed numb." His voice became strangled. "You were hollow. Dead inside. Serena was so worried about you. Nate wouldn't talk to either of us. You holding yourself together tore us apart, because we knew what was coming. I still remember the night you called me. You called me before you called an ambulance. You just kept repeating 'She's dead. I need you to be here'. I was there when they took her body away. I held your hand when you said goodbye."

Blair let out a choked sob, but said nothing. These were haunting memories for her, memories that she could barely remember through the drug-filled haze of October, November and most of December of that year.

"I know that it was hard for you. You found your mom dead; _of course_ it was fucking hard for you, but you pretended like everything was fine."

"I-" Blair went to interrupt him, but he ignored her.

"On the fifth of October, I got a call from your cell. But it wasn't you. It was Dorota. You'd left your cell at a seedy bar downtown before disappearing with three guys. She was terrified, Blair. How could you have done that to her? To Eleanor? To your Dad? How could you have done that to _me?_"

"I don't know," she replied in a dry whisper. "I don't know."

"I'll bet you don't even remember those months," he spat. "You were drunk and/or high for most of them. You missed school. Changed your style. You cut your hair. Everything that you did just _wasn't you_. You took drugs. Blair fucking Waldorf took drugs. I still can't believe it. I hate myself for being this guy, the guy that has to remind you of everything that you did. But I changed for you, Blair. I practically gave up my life to stop you from destroying yours. After everything that I did for you, after every time I punched a guy to make him get his hands off of you, after every time you turned up at my suite at three in the morning, having taken God-knows-what with God-knows-who, you just didn't fucking care. I turned up at your apartment one day, and you'd disappeared. Without a text, or a call, or a _fucking email._" Chuck gritted his teeth as he tried to maintain a scrap of control. He took a deep breath and counted to ten in an effort to calm himself. "For six months I called you. For six months I left messages. For _six fucking months."_

_"I know."_

"I told you that I loved you, Blair. You said that you loved me too." Chuck's eyes burned into hers as he turned back to face her.

Blair stood from her own chair and walked to the railings opposite Chuck. She clenched her jaw. "Don't talk about it. I can't-"

Chuck crossed the distance between them and forced her to face him. "You can't run away anymore, Blair. You can't run away from what happened."

"I know." She whispered, her voice almost being carried away on the light wind, a single tear making a path down her cheek.

"Do you have any idea how hard it was to see somebody that we loved go from being a neurotic control freak to an alcoholic drug addict who didn't care if they lived or died?"

"Having your mom kill herself is not something you 'get through'. How dare you say that to me, Chuck! You don't know how hard it was."

Chuck glared at her. "Don't I?"

"I didn't mean that."

He looked at her for a moment. "I know." He sighed in defeat. "Why did you do it, Blair? Why did you run?"

"I couldn't stay here. I just couldn't."

He shook his head. "That's not answering my question," he said bitterly.

She stared at him coldly, raising one of her sculpted eyebrows. "What answer do you expect me to give? I'm awfully sorry that I didn't stop to consider little Chuckie's feelings whilst finally letting myself mourn the suicide of my late mother. God, I'm so inconsiderate! What was I thinking?"

"Blair."

Her eyes started to fill. "I'm sorry that I left, okay? I had a lot on my mind!"

Chuck scoffed and he looked away. "Like where your next hit was coming from?"

Two pink spots appeared on Blair's cheeks but she ignored him. "What do you want from me, Chuck?"

"I don't know," He mumbled, staring at the water below.

"What?"

"I don't know!" He repeated. "I don't want anything from you. Forget it." _We both know exactly what it is that I want, because we both want the same thing. _

Blair raised an eyebrow and narrowed her eyes. "Don't lie to me." _I need you to say it out-loud. _

"I'm not l-" _I can't. _

"Yes you are!" She insisted, "I know you, Chuck. Your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth."

Chuck gazed at her, finally broken, finally _defeated. _"I hate you for doing this to me. For turning me into this. I never wanted to love you. I never wanted you to fucking love me. Why did you choose me? Why was it me that you turned to when you were drunk? You manipulated me into loving you. You admitted it more than a few times. When you were so high you didn't know your own name, why did you have to know mine? "

"I don't know."

"You had Nate and you had Serena. They would have done anything for you. Why did you choose me?"

"I don't-"

"You do."

Blair sighed and wrung her hands. "I knew that you'd be there. I knew that no matter what, you'd always come and rescue me."

"I never wanted to be your knight in shining armour," He ground out roughly, unable to think of anything else to say at her admittance. "That was always Nate's fantasy."

"It was always you, Chuck. Even when we were little. Serena never wanted to take over the playground like I did, and Nate just wanted to do whatever Serena wanted to do. You just wanted to-"

"Make you smile. I remember."

"Do you remember my seventh birthday?"

Chuck scratched his chin, but smiled a small smile. "Nate was on vacation and Serena was visiting her Grandmother."

"And it was just me and you."

"Just me and you," He echoed.

"We played war. Remember? I thought it was a dumb game. I hated the little soldiers with their guns and tacky outfits. But you showed me how to play."

"You won that game, if I recall correctly."

"So you see, Chuck; you made me who I am. You introduced me to a game that allowed me to conquer and control people. I've never forgotten that. You're part of the very essence of my character. Of course it was you that I turned to." Blair stepped closer to him as the yacht shuddered to a halt. They were mooring back at the docks. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you." He couldn't meet her eyes, no matter how hard he tried, his eyes just wouldn't look into hers. She placed her hands on either side of his face and forced him to face her. "I love you, Chuck. Always have, always will."

The noise of the engine became silent and Chuck finally braced himself enough to look at her. "I think you should leave." He removed her hands from his face as if her touch burned him, and he stepped away from her. "Goodbye, Blair."

Blair stood frozen and alone at the rail of the yacht. She'd done it. She'd apologised, admitted to Chuck that she loved him, and finally faced her demons. And it had all gone horribly wrong. Her heart felt like it was breaking in two, and Chuck stood away from her, expressionless, almost; as if they were strangers. But however much she was hurting inside, however much pain Chuck had just caused her, she would not show it until she was safely in her own apartment, away from prying eyes, camera phones and the temptation to drown her sorrows with a bottle of Perfect 1864*.

She steeled herself for what she was about to do, for what she was about to become. She took a deep breath, promising that when she let out the air, she'd become a new person.

If Chuck wanted to be strangers, they would be strangers. Had he forgotten that she'd won the first ever game of War that they'd played? Silly Chuck. Maybe it was time that he learned that you didn't mess with a Waldorf, especially not one who had nothing to loose. She let out the air and opened her eyes. He was gazing at her warily, as though he was frightened of her breaking in front of him.

Despite herself, Blair's heart thumped a little faster as she walked past Chuck. She heard his breath hitch as she leaned over the table for her purse, grabbing the remaining bottle of wine as she did so. He scoffed at this in disbelief, but when she turned to face him, her eyes dared him to question her. Her features were calm, showing no emotion.

Inwardly, Chuck was amazed at the speed that Blair had transformed from the vulnerable teenage girl that he had witnessed just moments ago to the confident, defiant woman that he saw before him. Outwardly, he frowned. Gone from her face was the honesty. Gone was the helplessness. Gone was the love.

It was replaced by malice, cruelty and _challenge. _Blair raised an eyebrow at his expression. "You see, Bass? You're not the only one who can bounce back. I'll see you on Monday. Goodnight." She kissed him softly on the cheek, pulled back and smirked at him.

With that, Blair stepped past him and walked down the stairs. She smiled an evil smile as she thought of her coat, sitting on the back of the chair upstairs.

In Blair's mind, the coat symbolised his submission. Instead of leaving her heart and her love with Chuck, like she had planned on doing, she'd left the coat. Chuck would keep the coat until he was ready or wanted to receive her heart and her love instead. Chuck would figure it out, she knew, because Blair Waldorf never left a $600 jacket on the back of a chair by accident.

If and when he returned the coat, she'd forgive him for what he'd just done. Until then, all bets were off.

"Let the games begin, Bass," she murmured, as she slowly strolled through the streets of the city. It was late, and dark, and probably very unsafe, but Blair needed the fresh air. A limo would mean a reminder of Chuck, and the minibar full of whiskey would certainly not help the situation.

It was one thirty when she finally arrived at her penthouse, her small feet throbbing slightly from the long walk, but Blair was elated. Still clutching the unopened bottle of wine, she took a bottle opener from the kitchen. Blair took the two upstairs, and stood at the huge window in her mother's old room. She leaned against the frame, smiling slightly at the still-busy New York street below. She drank the wine straight from the bottle, barely stopping to take a breath. Her skeletons needed to be reburied behind her designer dresses, and that was not a task she could do whilst sober. Collapsing onto her bed (that had been moved into the master bedroom), Blair checked her phone. No Chuck, no Serena, no Gossip Girl. Awesome.

The wine began to lull her into a deep, dreamless sleep, and Blair smiled to herself as she finally dropped off. Bridges had been burned tonight, and it would take a huge effort on Chuck's part to rebuild them. Blair was more than happy to watch him suffer until he did, though.

"Miss Blair..." Blair drifted in and out of sleep. Her head hurt, her throat was dry and her feet ached. "Miss Blair..." She moaned and raised a hand to her forehead.

"BLAIR!" She squealed as a pillow hit her in the face. "Get out of bed!"

Warily, she opened an eye, then groaned at the light in the room. "Good morning, Serena."

Her best friend giggled. "Good _afternoon, _Blair." Blair yawned hugely and blushed as Serena produced the empty bottle of Rose from behind her back. "The night went that badly, huh?"

Blair worried her bottom lip, combing her fingers through her hair. "You could say that."

Serena frowned, her eyes flashing a concerned look to Dorota, which Blair caught. "I'm fine! Blame your _brother._"

"It creeps me out that you and Chuck are the only people who refer to him as my brother. Gross." Serena bit her lip. "What happened?"

"Oh, you know, he called me out on the stunts I pulled freshman year, I apologised, told him that I loved him and he just told me to leave. Nice, huh?"

"What?" Serena exploded, "He told you to leave?"

"Pretty much." Blair shrugged, then sat up. "I'm sorry. For freshman year. Really."

Serena smiled at her and pulled her in for a hug. "It's okay, B. It's in the past. We love you and we're glad you're back."

"Sure you are." The two laughed.

Blair pulled herself out of bed. Not that she was in bed, but off of the bed, anyway. She stumbled her way into the bathroom and avoided looking at the ornate bath to her left, instead going straight to the large shower cubicle and turning on the water. The door was still open, but Blair stripped off anyway. Climbing under the hot water, she grinned.

"So, S, where are we going tonight?"

Serena entered the bathroom, put the toilet lid down and sat on it. "I don't know, B, why? Did you want to go somewhere?"

"Well, kind of. Have you heard of somebody called Carter Baizen?"

***Perfect 1864 is a French Vodka.**


	5. Animosity

_Pictures in magazines, movie screens  
Mirrors and cameras, so many beauty queens  
It's so good to be  
Fabulous and glamourous,  
We love ourselves and no one else  
__**Vanity.**_

**Chapter 5 - Animosity**

Chuck grunted as he awoke from slumber, frowning as he took in his surroundings. He wasn't in his suite, or his room in the family apartment, or in Serena's room. He sat up and looked around warily; ah, he was at Nate's place.

"Archibald?"

A laugh sounded from the other room. "So you're alive then?"

Chuck smirked. "I had a rough night."

"I know," The blonde replied, grinning as he entered the living area of his bedroom. "So... Who was she, man?"

Chuck's brow furrowed. "What?"

"The girl. Who was she?"

"Uh, there was no girl. I came here alone." He scratched his chin. Then, as an afterthought, "Was there a girl?"

"There was when you called me, but you were alone when you ended up here. You know that you can't handle vodka, Chuck. Stick to the scotch."

Chuck considered this. "I remember Blair, the stars, a yacht and then a bar," He yawned loudly. "I know that there were copious amounts of alcohol. There _may_ have been a redhead at one point."

The two laughed, and then Chuck stood up, groaning as the muscles in his back screamed in protest. It wasn't fair that he was this sore and hadn't even had any sex in eight days. Then again, how could he possibly have sex with anyone who wasn't _her?_ Not anymore, anyway. Everything had changed now that Blair was back, whom he loved.

He thought back to the night before in silence as Nate handed him the "miracle cure" for his hangover. Blair on the stairs, Blair on the yacht, Blair on the deck, Blair on the-

_Shit._

Why had he done that? He could've been with Blair, right this moment, tangled up in her hair and her curves and her luscious red lips, but no. Chuck Bass had to play the scorned woman.

Blair hadn't seemed too affected by him telling her to leave, if he was honest. She'd pulled herself together at a lightning speed and brought her inner vixen to the surface. He'd missed Blair's inner vixen. But as he began to think back to their conversation, he found himself growing annoyed again.

Then he spied the red jacket in the corner, the jacket that Blair had been wearing on the yacht. Why would she have left it? He mulled it over in silence whilst Nate showered, before coming to the conclusion that Blair had wanted him to find it. _Of course she had wanted him to find it. _Blair didn't do things by accident. Everything she did and said was planned down to the last detail. And Chuck knew that despite the image of a carefree, flighty version of Blair that she was pretending to be, _his_ Blair must be in there somewhere. That had been proved by the coat being left on the back of the chair. Blair wanted him to find it because she wanted to give him an opportunity to come to her sometime in the future. She knew that at one point, Chuck would want to be with her, and her leaving the coat on the back of the chair was her way of telling her that, despite what he had said, she would be willing to accept the coat and therefore his feelings, but only when he was ready to give it back to her.

Chuck loved that he was able to unwind one of Blair's plots. He loved that she knew that he would figure it out. If he was honest, he just loved her. And it fucking terrified him.

For the past three years, Blair had managed to effortlessly carry off the "I-wear-skinny-jeans-and-leather-jackets" look, the "I-wear-designer-heels-and-carry-designer-bags" look, and the "I'm-above-you-but-you-still-want-to-be-me" look, all at the same time. And she knew it.

But she also knew that after this weekend, this person that she was would be no more. She'd have to change, somehow. Go back to being the girl that Chuck had fallen in love with three years ago. At school, she couldn't be West-Coast Blair anymore. She needed to be powerful, a tyrant, even, and to do that she needed to be in control. First, she would take Serena's place. Then she would mould the girls into an army she could wield to do her every bidding. She'd become a person worth cowering before (because what was high school without hierarchy, if not boring and lax of standards?), and then and _only_ then would she worry about Chuck Bass. If Blair had a to-do list, Chuck Bass was currently holding the bottom spot.

She had no intention of 'doing' the heartless Basstard anytime soon.

At least not until he came crawling back with his above-average sized tail between his legs.

"So, here's the plan."

"Why is there always a 'plan', Blair?"

Blair smiled condescendingly. "Because it makes things more interesting."

"Sure it does."

"It makes things more organised?"

"B."

"Ugh, _fine_. It makes me feel more in control."

"I knew it." Serena grinned triumphantly.

Blair coolly dismissed this. "Whatever. Anyway, we're going shopping."

"Why?" Serena looked confused.

"When things get tough, the tough go shopping."

"Ah." The blonde nodded in understanding. "I'm guessing that the tough also go to clubs to find guys?"

Blair smirked. "You got it. Come on. I need a new wardrobe." She stepped towards Serena. "S..."

"B?" Serena looked concerned, both at Blair's uncanny ability to duplicate Chuck's signature smirk and Blair's tone. Sighing heavily, Blair sat a clueless Serena down on her bed and stood in front of her, hands on her shoulders.

At least Chuck always knew what she had planned, but then again, she and Chuck were always five moves ahead of everybody else. It was like a gigantic game of chess; she was the White Queen, he was the Black King, and he made a languid escape anytime anybody got too close to home whilst she simultaneously tried to beat him at his own game. If you were Chuck and Blair, the game was life, loosing meant death, or worse; _social oblivion. _The games with the highest stakes tasted the sweetest once you won_. If _you won, that was.

Blair went on, "It's about Constance..."

Serena held a hand up and smiled. "Don't even finish that sentence. It's yours, B. Really. I need more time to spend with Nate, and I promised Eric we'd start doing more things together, and-"

Grinning in response, Blair threw her arms around her best friend. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. I knew it was only a matter of time. Just don't make me sit a step below you on the MET steps, 'kay?"

The two laughed. "Sure. I'd never do that to you anyway."

"Of course you wouldn't." Serena mock rolled her eyes and the girls laughed again, until Blair pulled Serena to her feet.

"Come on. I hear a pair of Manolos and a new Chanel calling my name."

"Ooh, B, how could I possibly say no to that?"

A coffee and an hour later, Serena and Blair were waltzing around Barneys, lattes in hand, singing along to the Lady Gaga song that just happened to be playing.  
_  
_"Cool song," commented Serena.

"Uh huh," Blair murmured in agreement. Damn convenient song for playing whist she was thinking about Chuck. Figures. "_Caught in a Bad Romance," _she sang softly along, despite herself.

"B? What about this?" Serena asked, holding up a blue wrap dress.

Blair smiled in compliment. "Blue's always been your colour, S."

"Just like black has always been yours. That dress would look amazing on you, B!"

The brunette turned to where her blonde best friend was wildly pointing too with a half-chagrined smile on her face. Serena was right; the dress would look amazing on her. Black, simple, and completely classic; it was the pinnacle of "Little Black Dresses". And it was Dolce, which was always a bonus.

Later that day, Blair and Serena stopped off at a liquor store, laden with their shopping, for a the good stuff.

"A bottle of Jose and your most aged scotch, please." Blair paid for the two bottles, before joining Serena outside.

"Tequila and _scotch_, B? I thought you wanted a quiet night in?"

"No, I said 'night in', not '_quiet_ night in'. I've got the treats, you've got the movies. I'm thinking a night of Audrey and alcohol will do us both some good."

The two laughed, and ambled their way back to Blair's penthouse.

"So, B; how exactly do you plan on 'taking over' Constance?" Serena drunkenly wondered, before she laughed heartily at the television screen.

Blair considered this. "I guess I'll just do what I did before."

"Which is?

"People who don't do as I say_ will_ suffer. Simple."

Serena snorted again. "You used to terrify some of the professors, do you remember?"

"Only because they hated having somebody who was so young that could outwit them in their classes."

Serena's cell rang. "Hello? Uh, yeah, I'm with her right now. Hold on a second," Serena held her hand over the mouthpiece and held the phone out towards Blair. "It's Chuck. He wants to talk to you."

Blair smirked and took the cell from her. "Hello?"

"_I suppose you think you're clever."_

"Excuse me?"

"_You left your jacket on the yacht."_

"Yes, and?"

"_I've figured it out. You won't be seeing it any time soon."_

"I was almost hoping you'd say that."

Chuck paused. "_What?"_

"You keep the jacket for as long as you like, Chuck." When he didn't reply, a slightly drunk Blair took advantage of the silence. "You see, for the past three years, I haven't dated anybody out of loyalty to you, because regardless of what you were doing with the girls you were doing it with, I wanted to be yours and only yours when I came back here," Serena just stared at her. Drunk Blair was braver than sober Blair. "But considering that you don't want me, I fully intend to take advantage of my newly found single status, like you did whilst I was away. So, how about this? You go back to being a manwhore, and I'll go back to being the controlling bitch that you knew and loved."

"_Blair-"_

"Good catching up." And with that, she ended the phonecall with a smirk on her face. "Come on, S. We're going out."

Serena looked confused. "Where?"

"Anywhere."

Somehow, they'd ended up outside of the very same bar that Blair had been the previous Saturday.

"I don't think this is a good idea, Blair."

Blair rolled her eyes and smirked. "Whatever. I've been with one guy my whole entire life. Chuck's practically a walking STI. I think I'm allowed a little fun."

Serena raised her eyebrows. "What, with a random guy that you think will be here? Of all places? Where are we, anyway?" She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

Blair ignored her and pulled her into the bar. The door slammed behind them loudly and the men within turned to look at them greedily. "Come on, S."

She sat where she'd sat the previous week, but ordered a scotch this time. Serena looked at her questioningly, but Blair smiled and shrugged. "I like a change."

"Right."

Carter watched them from the same booth that he always sat at. He knew she'd come back eventually. The blonde was different to the brunette; the blonde was more free, less bound somehow. He recognised the her almost instantly after that; her name was Serena Van der Woodsen.

They'd had a thing forever ago. A guy never forgot one like Serena. He'd bragged about her for weeks.

The brunette, _Blair, _he corrected himself, looked almost exactly the same as before, but something had changed. She was more confident; he could see it in the way her eyes swung around the small bar, taking in its unusual detailing. Her eyes settled on him, and her lips slowly twisted up into a delicious half smirk. Carter felt himself stand, a little worried that he couldn't control his own movements.

"Blair?"

The girl looked him up and down then licked her lips. "Carter."

"What brings you back here?"

"I don't know," Blair replied honestly, sipping carefully on her scotch. Carter's eyes widened at her choice of drink. Girls like Blair did not drink scotch; they drank champagne and martinis and other fruity crap that had little to no effect on them. Damn weak drinks.

Carter smirked to himself as Blair gestured to the vacant seat to her left. "I'll have what she's having." The bartender nodded in agreement.

Serena's eyes widened at Carter's approach. At least now she knew why Blair had wanted to come here, of all places. It was suddenly clear to Serena exactly where they were. This had been one of her old haunts forever ago, before Nate had captured her heart with his blue eyes and man-bangs.

"I'm sure you know Serena, Carter?" He nodded disinterestedly, as he gazed at Blair. "Something bothering you, S?" Blair's attention was stolen by Serena, and Carter inwardly cursed the blonde on her other side. The two girls had a whispered argument, before Serena smiled sweetly.

"I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me. I have an, uh, _appointment_ that I forgot about. I'll leave you to it."

Blair scowled as her best friend shot her a final glare, then stood up and left. She sighed and took a deep swig of her drink. "Boring."

Carter laughed, amused despite himself. "So, Blair. What _really_ brings you back here?"

Blair opened her mouth to reply as she had before, but stopped herself. "Curiosity," she finally answered, a smirk making its way across her face.

"May I buy you a drink?" He asked, his own smirk threatening to take away the current seriousness of his features.

Blair considered this. "Only if you promise to take me home once I am drunk."

Carter laughed again. "Deal." They both smiled, then Carter gestured again at the bartender. He turned his eyes back to Blair, and was surprised to see her gazing at him. He cleared his throat before smirking at her. "Since when does a girl like you drink scotch? Don't most girls drink pathetic little drinks with almost no alcohol content whatsoever? Like virgin martinis and cosmopolitans?"

"I'm not most girls."

He looked her up and down. "So I can see."

Blair scoffed in mock disbelief. "Then why did you compare me to 'most girls'?"

Carter shrugged. "I hoped that you would prove me wrong."

Blair's eyes sparkled. "And did I?"

"Most definitely."

The two fell into an easy, flirtatious conversation, blissfully unaware that they were being watched.

**Spotted: Blair Waldorf having drinks with the **_**other**_** CB, Carter Baizen. What's this? B moving on from C already? And here we thought we'd have revolution in the kingdom. Careful B; hell hath no fury like a Chuck Bass scorned, but something tells me that in **_**this **_**little game, it's C who should be watching his back. And his heart. **

**You know you love me,**

**XOXO**

**Gossip Girl. **

Serena stood up from her bar stool, gave Blair a final look and left the bar. No sooner had the door slammed behind her than she was pulling out her cell from her oversized clutch. She hit number six on her speed-dial (ugh, Chuck Bass was on her speed dial. The thought alone was enough to make her cringe), and waited rather impatiently for him to pick up, which, of course, he didn't.

"_Hey, this is Chuck Bass. Leave a message."_

"Chuck," She hissed into the machine, "I don't know what you did, or what you said, but you better f-ing fix it. Fast. You won't believe who she's having drinks with right now. Call me please," Then, thinking that she'd been too nice, "Sooner rather than later, Chuck. If she gets hurt because of you, so help me, I will neuter you myself. Ugh. Jackass."

After telling Nate about the Blair fiasco, the two had spent the remainder of the day together, playing video games that involved guns and violence, talking about the mysterious female mind, smoking pot and eating pizza; just doing general guy things. At six thirty, he and Blair had argued. Well no, Blair had basically told him that she was going to do whatever the hell she liked whether he liked it or not.

It was around nine when Chuck finally turned his phone back on, fearing the worst after his argument from Blair. So he'd been a coward and turned it off, big deal.

He listened to the voicemail from Serena.

He read the email from Gossip Girl.

And then he swore. "Shit!"

Nate looked over at him in alarm. "What? What's up?"

Chuck handed his phone (and the Gossip Girl blast) to his best friend, beginning to pace in the small room. "Carter Baizen. Carter _fucking_ Baizen. Shit."

Nate grimaced and whistled. "She had drinks with him, huh? That can't be a good sign."

"As always, Nathaniel, you're the very epitome of a genius. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?"

Scratching his chin, Nate mulled this over. "I don't know, man. I guess you gotta win her back. Blair likes romance. Give her flowers, chocolates, grand public gestures-"

"Were you not listening to the story about the yacht and the stars and the broken heart that I may or may not have given her? It's a little too late for grand public gestures." Chuck looked at Nate desperately for a moment, before things suddenly made sense, and he stilled his pacing. "You know what, _fine._"

Nate spluttered. "Fine?"

Chuck smirked calmly, holding his hands up in mock-dismissal. "Nathaniel, I know Blair. She's doing this to get back at me."

Nate looked at Chuck incredulously. "Are you sure, man?"

"It's _Blair._ Of course I'm sure. This is for attention." Chuck knew Blair well enough to know that.

"Which you're not going to give to her?"

"In response to this? Absolutely not. If she wants to wave a mediocre adversary in my face, let her. Using Carter Baizen as bait? She clearly hasn't done her research," Chuck drawled, smirking as he began to 'figure it all out'. However, Chuck Bass had not counted on Blair's ingenious expectations of male jealousy. Especially since Blair knew Chuck well enough to know that if she planted a tiny little seed of envy it would only take a matter of minutes for Chuck's macho defensive crap to crumble and for that tiny little seed of envy to grow into a fully fledged tree of jealous, wounded ego.

"But you love her?"

Chuck held back a sigh. "Of course I love her." The seed began to sprout roots.

"And you're know that she loves you?"

"Yes," Chuck replied shortly, beginning to realise Nate's point. The seed and the roots grew a stem.

"And you're comfortable with her dating another guy?"

Chuck considered this, his original argument beginning to falter. The stem grew an inch taller. "Well-"

"The Gossip Girl post was at 7:25. That was an hour ago. She could be drunk and making out with Baizen _right now_. Doesn't that bother you?"

Chuck gulped, his weakened resolve now wavering. The stem grew thicker and taller. "Not really."

"But it's _Carter,_ Chuck. What if she _sleeps_ with him?" Nate added an excel growth fertiliser to the little plant.

"..." The thought of Blair, _his_ Blair having sex with any guy was enough to turn Chuck's stomach, but to think that it would be Carter Baizen made his eyes cloud red with an intense jealous rage. There was a minute of silence, then, as the little plant blossomed into a tree, "Like hell she will! Get your coat."

"We don't even know where they are, man!"

Chuck considered this, then pulled out his phone.

Serena answered on the first ring. "_Took you long enough!"_

"Where are they?"

"_I have no idea. When I left Blair with Carter they-"_

"You left her with him?"

"_Well-"_

"Is it your mission in life to screw me over?" Chuck asked sarcastically. Nate sent him a glare for talking to Serena like that, which Chuck brushed off. "Where were you when you left them?"

_"I don't know, some hole in the wall downtown."_

"Was she drunk?"

"_I'm not sure, Blair hides it well..."_

"Fan_fucking_tastic." He hung up on her, then sat back down on the couch. "I'm fucked."

Chuck stumbled as he exited the elevator, laughing as he realised that his shoes were on the wrong feet. "Stupid shoes," he muttered, leaning too far to the right and almost overbalancing, before he was pushed back to standing straight.

"Charles."

Chuck's eyes snapped to his right, and he gulped. "Father."

Bart's eyes narrowed in disappointment and the older man shook his head. "Go to bed."

"But-"

"Go to bed."

Chuck did not dare dispute him, and managed to walk the three metres to his room. He closed the door behind him and the silence in the room consumed him. He walked to his bed and fell onto it, lying heavily on top of the covers face down. Just as he was drifting off to sleep, Serena burst in.

"Chuck!"

He grunted tiredly in response, not bothering to peel himself away from his bed.

"Chuck?"

"Blair's fine," he mumbled into the duvet.

"What? Chuck, for God's sake, sit up!" Without giving him the chance to respond, Serena lurched forwards and pulled him up. She rolled him over so that he was on his back, and Chuck could not resist smirking at her and cocking an eyebrow. "Ugh, gross."

"Blair's fine. I stopped by at her penthouse about an hour ago and Dorota said she was in bed."

Serena's mouth opened then closed again. Then opened, then closed again, as if she was disputing on whether or not to air what was on her mind. "Sis, as much I love the goldfish look, it does not become you," Chuck drawled.

"Was Blair in bed... alone?" She questioned meekly, her fingers pulling at the hem of her shirt as Chuck's eyes widened.

He shot up off of the bed and swayed as he got to his feet. "She better have been. If he was there, in her _bed_, whilst I was in the apartment, I'll fucking kill him," he rambled, glaring at Serena as if it was her fault.

"Should I call her?"

Chuck just continued to glare at her, until she pulled out her phone and hit number 2 on her speed-dial.

"_Hey, you've reached Blair Waldorf. Leave a message. Unless it's Chuck Bass, in which case, don't bother."_

Stifling a smirk at the message, Serena began to speak. "Blair? It's me. Call me as soon as you can. Love you."

It took exactly four minutes for Blair to call Serena back. She didn't even give her the chance to say 'hello'.

_"S? What's wrong?"_

Serena laughed. "Are you alone?"

_"Who else would I be with? It's one thirty!"_

"We thought- _I _thought that you and Car-"

Serena was interuppted by Blair's disbelieving laughter. _"God, S. I talked to the guy for like two hours, and then I came home."_

"So you two didn't, uh, hook up?"

_"'Hook up', Serena, really? Are we in middle school?"_

Serena rolled her eyes. "Whatever, B. Goodnight."

_"Goodnight."_

As Serena hung up the phone call, Chuck looked at her expectantly. "She's alone."

His eyebrows knitted together. "Did she _say_ she was alone?"

"Well, not in so many words, but-"

Chuck flopped back against the bed and covered his eyes with his left arm. With his right, he pointed to the door. "Get out of my room. You're an amateur."

Serena glared at him. "Fine!"

"Fine."

"Fine," she retorted, flouncing out of the room and leaving the door wide open behind her.

Blair's hands were shaking as she hung up the phone. His mocking laugh sounded in her ear.

"Why didn't you tell Serena I was here?" He put his hand on her shoulder and made to brush away her hair, but she caught it and pushed it roughly off of her.

She stood up and walked to the window, glaring down into the street below. "Go home, Carter." Blair grimaced when she heard him stalk towards her. "Go home," she insisted, stepping away from his advances.

"Come on, Blair, don't be like that." She whirled around and stared at him, directly in the eye. The intensity of it made him flinch, and it was he that looked away after a long, silent pause. "Fine, I'll go."

Blair raised an eyebrow. "But?"

Carter laughed in surprise. "How did you know that there was a but?"

"You're a guy. There's _always _a but." She continued to stare at him, the depths of her brown eyes twinkling as they stared into his own.

He relented after a moment. "Okay, okay. _But_ you can't run away from what happened." His breath tickled the back of her neck as his hand reached up to trace a circle on her shoulder, and Blair felt herself grow anxious. She didn't want him to touch her.

"Don't touch me," she told him, and the movements stilled. He stepped away from her, and, after a moment of staring wistfully at her, made to leave. "Carter..." she said, and he stopped immediately. He turned back to face her, and saw that she was glaring at him coldly. "If you tell _anybody_ about what happened tonight, I swear that you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Do you understand me?"

He made to raise an eyebrow, but when he saw that she was deadly serious, held up a hand in submission. "I understand you."

"Good." She turned back to face the window and stood like that for a good five minutes, until she heard the elevator arrive downstairs. Once she was sure that Carter had finally gone, Blair stepped into the bathroom.

She knelt down in front of the porcelain bowl and pulled her hair away from her face. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," she whispered, a single tear trailing down her cheek. She had lost too much control tonight, too much control that could never be earned back. She leaned over the bowl, and offered the only thing she could in exchange for forgiveness.

Sunday was morose to say the least. Nate and Serena had argued, Blair and Chuck had hangovers. It was how the world worked.

Monday rolled around, and this time it was _Blair_ who picked Serena up for school. It was _Blair _who walked in front. It was _Blair_ who was clearly in charge.

The two sat on the MET Steps side by side, their lattes between them, handbags by their sides. Blair wore a gold headband, a georgette ruffle blouse, a highwaisted gable gazing tube skirt, suede Louboutins and her mother's ruby ring. Serena wore her uniform in the way she usually did, but in her hair she wore a silver headband. It'd be the first and last time that she'd wear it, but today it was to be made clear that Blair was the one at the top.

It wasn't long before the rest of the girls joined them. Kati and Is were the first to arrive, accepting Blair's place at the top of the steps without question, taking their places on either side of Blair and Serena but a step below. The two grinned up at her, and showered her with compliments. Shortly after, Jenny and Elise appeared, and when Jenny made to do as Kati and Is had done, Blair scoffed.

"No." Blair's eyes lowered to the step belowwhere the other three were sat, and nodded. Jenny sat down ungracefully, horrified at being at the bottom.

Hazel took her place beside Is on the steps, whilst Penelope had no choice but to sit on the bottom step with Jenny. "So, S, where are we going tonight?" Penelope questioned eagerly, putting her hair behind her ears so that she should turn to see her.

Serena narrowed her eyes. "Ask Blair."

Penelope suddenly realised what had happened. Her eyes flickered between Blair and Serena, then settled on Blairs smirking face. "_We_ aren't doing anything. It's Monday," Blair replied importantly.

Blair and Serena began to talk about Bendels' fall line. Elise, Kati, Is and Hazel seemed content to gossip amongst themselves. Penelope and Jenny just stared at the floor.

Blair shot Penelope a smirk. "Nice headband, _P_, but I dont really think black is your colour."

"But-" Penelope made to protest, but Blair cut her off.

"I _said, _black isn't your colour. Remember that."

Penelope simply nodded in response, too bewildered at this turn in events to even think about what Blair was saying to her.

"I think we should revisit the rules of the Girls of the Steps." Blair didn't wait for an answer. "We all have a colour. Anybody who wishes to wear black, red or purple will consult me first," She instructed. "We do _not_ share guys." She gave Kati and Is a smile, "Well, you two can." They beamed at her. "Ex-boyfriends are strictly off limits. Any indescretions will be dealt with by me. Any questions?"

"Well, actually, Blair, if ex-boyfriends are off limits, you can't date Chuck _or _Carter, because Penelope-"

"Be honest, Hazel. Would you really call a drunken fumble in the back of 1OAK ex-boyfriend material?" Blair scoffed.

"Well, no, but-"

"And I don't think making out with somebody who is barely conscious is classed as an ex-boyfriend, either, do you?"

"No," Hazel replied in defeat. Penelope shot her a glare for giving Blair amunition.

"Exactly. However, Chuck and Carter are strictly off limits to anybody who knows what is good for them. Am I understood?" The girls nodded. "Come on, ladies. It's time for school." Blair didn't wait for a reply, just stood haughtily and walked through the girls down the steps. "Don't make disagreeing with me a habit, Hazel," She called over her shoulder.

The short walk to school was reasonably uneventful. Blair smirked as the girls walked quickly behind her, Kati and Is by her sides since Serena had wandered off with Nate. _Blair _was in control now. It was high time people learned that.

Chuck leaned against the wall at the bottom of the steps. He smirked as Blair came around the corner, six girls trailing along behind her. He gulped at the sight. _Blair_ was queen? When did that happen? Things like that should not happen without the express permission and approval of Chuck Bass.

"Good morning, your _majesty_," he drawled as they walked by. Blair paused and looked at him.

"Ah, if it isn't my favourite King's fool." Her minions snorted at the covered insult.

"Well you look lovely." Chuck looked her up and down and leered at her in a way that usually made most girls either blush or cringe. Blair did neither. She simply smirked and stepped towards him.

She leaned upwards to whisper in his ear. "You wanted a bitch, I'll give you a bitch. Stay out of my way." She smiled at him calmly, before ascending the stairs. Penelope looked wistfully back at him, but he sneered at her and she turned away.

After a week of school with Blair as the queen, Chuck Bass was sure of three things.

The first? Blair Waldorf was a bitch. Not that she hadn't been a bitch before, mind, but now she was even more dangerous. She was untouchable. Even Gossip Girl refused to go against her, as Blair had displayed three times her ruthlessness whilst disciplining her minions. Penelope had been on the recieving end of her temper twice, Jenny once.

The second? He was absoloutely terrified of her. He, Chuck fucking Bass, was terrified of a girl.

It wasn't so much that he was scared of Blair (at least that's what he was telling himself), but of what she could do.

She could make it so that he never got laid again (at least not by people from the UES). She had displayed her ability, more than once, to control the entire staffing and student body of Constance Billiard. Blair had always been sensible when it came to choosing her battles, but now, she refused to allow herself to outwardly rise to anything anybody said to her. Her face was mostly an expressionless mask, save for the smirk that seemed to constantly dance on her lips and the mischief that plainly danced in her dangerous dark eyes.

This new Blair watched and waited for the perfect moment to throw a spanner in the works that would cause the most damage to whoever was on the receiving end, making her that little bit more deadly. This new Blair seemed to be everywhere, all at once. Chuck could not escape her eyes, her touch, her words. He was swimming in _Blair,_ and he just could't get away from her.*

The third? If there had ever been any doubt before, he knew for sure now that he was in love with her. Bitch.

*Sort of recycled sections of this passage from one of my other stories. Sorry.

**Love it? Hate it? Tell me! :)**

**Oooooh! What happened between Blair and Carter? Can anybody guess? **

**Do we like 'school Blair' or 'weekend Blair' more? Headband or leather jacket? Its a toughie! **


	6. Authority

_Pictures in magazines, movie screens  
Mirrors and cameras, so many beauty queens  
It's so good to be  
Fabulous and glamourous,  
We love ourselves and no one else  
**Vanity.**_

* * *

The Monday that Blair Waldorf had taken the crown from Serena, she had put into motion a chain of events that would change the future of Constance and St Judes.

After school that day, she had spent two hours researching the subjects of her kingdom, mentally compiling a list of Projects and Victims, then had began to read Gossip Girl archives on "the ones to watch" (namely Chuck, Serena – best friends or not, they were still frenemies - Jenny and Penelope). From this information, she started to realise that Penelope's fatal attraction for Chuck could have possibly handed her the scissors to cut Penelope down. She stored everything away in her mind for a time when it would be most helpful, which would hopefully be the coming Friday at her first party as hostess since returning the UES.

Midway through designing the invites, Blair smirked as a scheme began to twirl in her complex female mind.

* * *

To say her plot had been a screaming success would be an understatement. She had managed to indirectly push the two together without having to acknowledge each of them further than a cool smile and a polite nod, and had received news that they were now making out heavily in a back booth.

(She was a little angry that it'd happened so fast, but had later realised that sooner rather than later in one of these situations was always for the best.)

"Hurry up!" Blair hissed, pulling insistently on Kati's hand, dragging her (and Is) further into the thrumming crowd of people inside Socialista. "Where the hell is she?" Blair murmured.

Kati and Is looked at each other, then cautiously back at Blair. "Blair?"

Blair froze for a moment, then whirled around to glare at the two. "You both hate Penelope, right?" Kati and Is nodded instantly and vehemently, not because they actually hated Penelope but because they'd hate whoever Blair hated or told them to hate. Their leader smiled happily in response, but her smile quickly grew into a devious, triumphant smirk as she spied her prey in the corner. "Then you'll be glad to see her and her overly-generous nose sent on a one-way trip into social oblivion. Watch and learn ladies."

She plucked her phone from her purse, extended her arm, and captured the moment that would send Penelope right back to the bottom of the social ladder. Kati and Is looked in the direction of her arm, and gasped in shock when they saw who it was that Penelope was currently straddling in the corner booth; the "passionate" exchange looked extremely one sided, as the guy's hands lolled emptily on the seat of the booth.

Blair stepped forward, a dangerous glint in her dark eyes, calmly tapping Penelope on the shoulder with one hand as she sent the fatal text message with the other. "Hi!"

Penelope's lips came away from Chuck's as she turned to meet her smirking (subtext: fabulous) Queen and adversary.

The brunette looked hesitantly back at Chuck, who was too drunk comprehend what was going on. He just smirked lazily at her, shrugging his shoulders as he saw Blair staring at the two of them. Blair only had to place a hand on her hip, raise a perfectly polished eyebrow and pout her pretty red lips before Penelope practically leapt from his lap.

"Blair-" Penelope began anxiously, only to see Blair's eyes narrow disbelievingly.

"Shut up," Blair snapped, her eyes flashing warningly. "I'll deal with you in a minute."

Penelope nodded submissively, and Blair stepped towards Chuck with betrayal shining in her eyes. "You don't get to do this to me, Bass. Say goodbye to life as you know it."

Chuck simply grinned in response, not coherent enough to realise that Blair was deadly serious. "I'm Chuck Bass," was his only reply.

"And I'm Blair Waldorf. Never underestimate that."

Chuck's mouth opened in appreciative awe, just as Blair's hand raised and slapped him hard across the cheek. "It was a pleasure doing business with you. Enjoy the party. It'll be your last for a while."

She stepped away from Chuck quickly after that, but she still saw the angry red mark that her palm left. Turning back to Penelope, she barked, "Outside," and pushed past her, her shoulder narrowly missing making contact with Penelope's.

Blair stood facing away from the three girls surrounding her. She could practically hear Penelope chewing on her thumbnail, could almost feel the anticipant thumping of Kati and Is' hearts. She took a deep breath and slowly turned to face her taller brunette subject.

Penelope began to smirk, but, seeing Blair's phone in her hand and the glares of Kati and Is, she soon realised that she would most definitely not escape punishment. Penelope looked fearfully at her shoes. "Look at me. _I said, _look at me." Penelope raised her eyes to Blair's. "I always knew that you were a desperate, attention seeking whore, but I never thought you'd be a backstabbing bitch too."

"But, Blair-" Penelope looked to Kati and Is for support, but they gave her none, choosing instead to glare maliciously at her.

"Nobody cares what you have to say, P. You and your opinions are irrelevant. I was going to plot your destruction myself, but it turns out that you were stupid enough to hand me the means to do it. Making out with Chuck Bass will never be acceptable. Especially not when he's specifically been _forbidden _to you_. _Your life is over, do you understand me?"

Penelope nodded.

"It's time for you to hang up your headbands and go home, Penlope. You aren't wanted around here anymore." With that, Blair turned on her heel and Kati and Is rushed after her, leaving a shivering Penelope alone outside the club as the double doors slammed closed behind the life that Penelope had always known.

* * *

**Spotted: Queen B dismissing a disgraced subject in one of the nastiest takedowns we've seen in months. We always knew P had a thing for our resident bad boy, but why so angry, B?**

**You know you love me,**

**XOXO Gossip Girl. **

* * *

Blair smirked at the Gossip Girl blast as she made her way back towards Chuck. He now sat alone, lounging in a different booth nursing another glass of scotch.

"Haven't you had enough?" Blair quizzed, narrowing her eyes at him in disapproval. Chuck smirked back at her, and made to raise the glass to his lips to take another defiant swig. Blair was faster though, and plucked the glass from his hand before he was able.

"Bitch," he muttered in protest.

"Alcoholic."

Chuck smiled genuinely this time. "Touche, Waldorf."

Blair rolled her eyes and sat down beside him. "Enjoy the party girls, your work here is done." She smiled at Kati and Is as they made their way back into the thrumming crowds of people on the dance floor. She waited until the two were out of sight, then drank the glass of scotch herself.

Chuck stared at her questioningly, shook his head and then rubbed his temple with his right hand. "Thirteen years," he murmured.

"What did you say?"

"I said I've known you for thirteen years and yet you still manage to surprise me. How do you do it, Blair? You're the only girl who ever surprises me." The intensity of Chuck's gaze brought heat to Blair's cheeks and she looked away for a second, but it was enough to break their moment. Chuck looked at this hands, then at his watch. "I should go." He stood to leave, and Blair's inner turmoil surrounding her feelings for him caused her to grab his arm.

"Wait. Stay. Just for a minute."

"I thought I was 'saying goodbye to life'? Backing out of threats already, B? I thought I knew you better than that," Chuck smirked at her threateningly, and Blair dropped his arm like it burned her, then smiled cruelly.

"Fine. Go. But just remember that the next time that you're at one of these events, you'll be all alone."

"That's never going to happen, Blair."

Blair scoffed a laugh. "We'll see."

"I'm Chuck Bass," he replied scornfully, and Blair stood up, staring him directly in the eye.

"So you keep saying." She smirked. "But you seem to forget that I'm Blair Waldorf, and for right now and the forseeable future, I own you and everybody else inside this place. This is _my _game now, Bass; I thought you of all people would've recognised a hostile takeover. Now please leave before before I call security, I no longer want you at my party. Goodnight." She stood and brushed past him, leaving him staring at the back of her head and her swaying hips as she walked away, frowning as he felt lust and admiration building up inside of him for the retreating brunette. Damn her.

Blair felt his gaze burn into her back and took a deep breath to clear her thoughts, and when that failed, she grabbed a drink from a passing tray and gulped down the contents. Knowing she'd regret that decision the following morning, she ordered a bottle of water from the bar and sat alone, watching the throng of her classmates' bodies swaying to the pumping music. Funny, she mused, how one could feel so alone and so isolated, even when surrounded by three hundred other teenagers who would do whatever she wanted them to. She spied Chuck making his way out of the door, shaking off a drunk sophomore wearing an orange dress, and smirked. _Know your place, jackass._

She shook her head and smiled as Serena gestured to her from the dancefloor, then squealed as Nate plucked her from her barstool and deposited her next to her blonde best friend.

She wasn't lonely, Blair realised. She was Queen.

* * *

School on Monday was eventful to say the least. Blair remained silent for most of the day, only speaking when necessary, choosing instead to nod her approval or to narrow her eyes at things that she disliked. To say it was ugly when Penelope crossed her path would be an understatement.

_Penelope glanced around worriedly, trying her hardest to avoid Blair and her mean girls. As if she had screamed their names, she walked directly into Kati and Is. The two sneered at her disrespectfully, looking her up and down and shaking their heads. _

_"Look, Is, it's a lying manipulative whore."_

_Is looked around, as if trying to see something, then her eyes landed on Penelope and she smiled cruelly. "Oh yeah, Kati, I see it now. The one with the huge nose and last season's hair cut?"_

_"Yeah, that's her. God, she's so dumb. To think she went against a specific order," replied Kati quickly._

_"To think that she made out with one of her closest friend's exes."_

_"When it was specifically forbidden."_

_"Pity," said Is._

_"Pity," murmured Kati, the two almost like a mirror of eachother._

_"And to think, we almost invited her to Blair's birthday party. Ridiculous."_

_"Ridiculous is quite the understatement." The two girls jumped at Blair's cold voice, lowering their eyes to the floor as their Queen stared at them. "Disobeying orders, ladies?" The two shook their heads and looked hopefully at Blair, smiling in relief when she smirked at them in response. "I knew you were smart enough to know the different between A-List and Z-list." She turned to Penelope. _

_"I thought your species of cockroach had gone extinct, but apparently not. If you're waiting for me to squish you myself, by all means continue staring."_

_Penelope shook her head meekly and looked at her shoes. "No, Blair."_

_"Then run along."_

_

* * *

_

The following Saturday, Blair laughed gaily as Nameless Guy #3 twirled her around on the dance floor, pausing a moment to tear the silver headband from her head as she shook her mane of now-wild curls loose. She stuffed the offending piece of material into her clutch and swatted jokingly at the hands of Nameless Guy #4 who'd grabbed her hips and her hand.

Except he definitely wasn't nameless. Chuck pulled Blair roughly against his chest and locked her in place. "If this pathetic little charade is for my benefit, you're wasting your time."

Blair looked up at him from under her lashes and smiled. "Don't flatter yourself."

He scoffed in reply. "_You _flatter yourself by thinking I'd be affected by your amateur display."

"No display, Chuck. I'm just having a good time."

"_Right_. Since when does the 'Queen B' do anything without an agenda? I can see right through you." Chuck knew this was a lie as soon as it left his mouth, because in truth, Blair's little 'display' was indeed getting to him, and he had absolutely no idea what was going through her mind or what she had planned.

"No, Chuck. _I _can see right through _you._ You're panicking because I'm not doing what you expect me to do," Blair mocked. "Besides, I thought you liked being _surprised_?"

Chuck stared at her blankly, choosing to ignore her last statement. "You're right. I didn't expect you to act like a whore."

Blair grinned to show how little his remark bothered her, then leaned forwards so that her mouth touched Chuck's ear.

"First things first, Bass; I am not acting like a 'whore'. Dancing with a harmless couple of guys is not whore-like behaviour. Secondly, if I _was_ acting like a whore, who says it's unallowed? I suggest you read 'The Art of War'. '_To know your enemy, you must become your enemy'_; haven't you ever heard of research? Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go and powder my nose." She pulled herself out of Chuck's grasp easily, her mouth remaining in a line but her eyes laughed at his expression. Blair back-stepped until she was out of the reach of his arms, "And by the way; the next time you tell somebody about your 'feelings' for me, make sure that person isn't the boyfriend of my best friend. Turns out you're not as indifferent as you would have had me believe. Maybe you should remember that your _best friend _is more loyal to his _girlfriend_ (me) than he is to _you_. Poor Chuck. Nobody to turn to but the _real_ whores you pay for. Enjoy the party." She smiled angelically and made her way back to Serena and the girls. Chuck just stared dumbly after her.

_Oh no, she did not._

It was a little after twelve thirty when Blair spotted Chuck alone at the bar, nursing a glass of scotch. She was feeling braver, probably thanks to the copious amounts of champagne currently coursing through her system, and so boldly made her way towards him. He didn't see her coming until she sat beside him.

"I'll have what he's having."

Chuck raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you drink scotch?"

Blair shrugged disinterestedly. "I forget." She took a long swig, and after settling her glass onto the bar top, licked her lips. "Nice choice. I prefer mine a little more aged, but that was surprisingly adequate."

In spite of himself, Chuck was impressed. "Spoken like somebody who knows their scotch," he remarked passively, and Blair smirked at him.

"I know a lot of things."

"You win."

Blair blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I don't want us to fight any more," Chuck replied honestly, the alcohol in _his_ system also making him a little bolder.

She raised an eyebrow. "You hate to lose," she accused suspiciously; "I don't believe you."

"I don't was us to fight any more _tonight_," he relented, brushing her hair away from her eyes. "Blair..."

She knocked his hand backwards off of her face, but caught it before he could place it back onto the bar. She watched his expression carefully. "You're drunk. I'm drunk. I'm still very angry at you. Me speaking to you now will not change anything. You still have a long stint left in Coventry come tomorrow morning."

"Ah yes, the delightful state in which nobody speaks to or looks at me. How _did _you manage to do that? Getting people to shun me must have been very difficult, even for you. I _am_ Chuck Bass, after all."

"Your name doesn't carry as much weight as it used to."

Chuck smirked. "The guys still listen to me."

"_No_," Blair corrected. "The guys listen to whoever controls their social lives and sex lives_._"

Chuck nodded in understanding. "And since the girls control their social and sex lives, and _you _control the girls, you're in charge. What did I do to deserve this?"

In response, Blair scoffed and raised an eyebrow. "You made out with Penelope." Despite the indignant expression on her face and the tone of her voice, Chuck recognized something unfamiliar in the way Blair was acting; hurt.

Blair pulled her hair off her neck and twisted it into a knot, feeling lucky that the cut of her red dress would work well with an up-do as well as a down-do. Chuck's eyes widened as her slender neck was exposed, and soon looked back at his now-empty glass of scotch. "I'm sorry," He choked out desperately, hoping to salvage whatever was left of their twisted relationship.

"I should go," Blair remarked coolly. "Fraternizing with the enemy will almost definitely send the wrong message."

"I completely agree. Would you like to dance, Blair?" Blair narrowed her eyes and stayed staring at Chuck as the voice behind her spoke again. "Ignorance is rude, Blair. I thought someone with breeding as good as yours would at least know some manners."

"You weren't invited, Carter."

"Since when has that ever stopped me? I'm Carter Baizen, baby."

Chuck stared at Carter in disbelief, incredulity making him raise an eyebrow. Blair's eyes flashed as she turned to face Carter. "I'm not your baby. I have no time for manners when it comes to people like you. Please leave." She stared at him ominously, her eyes narrowing as Carter began to smirk.

"That's not what you said-" Blair cut him off by standing on one of his feet with her heel.

"Get out. Now."

Carter grinned and mock-bowed. "As you wish, your majesty."

Watching his retreating back, Blair sighed in relief. She rubbed her forehead and checked the time on her phone. "Thank god," she muttered, jumping as Chuck cleared his throat behind her.

"What was that about?"

Blair turned to glare at him. "None of your business. You can leave too. I've had quite enough of people with your initials turning up uninvited at my events. Next time don't bother. If you see _him_ in the near future, grace him with the same information. Excuse me."


	7. Gravity

_Pictures in magazines, movie screens_  
_Mirrors and cameras, so many beauty queens_  
_It's so good to be_  
_Fabulous and glamourous,_  
_We love ourselves and no one else  
__****__Vanity_

**__****_

* * *

_**

The fall had come so fast. Leaves that were once green and pulsing with a desperate vigour of life were browning and dead, defeated in the cool winds of Autumn.

The world outside meant nothing to him, the world in his hotel room meant nothing to him.

Chuck sat alone in his room, staring emptily out of his Palace window.

"The only thing holding me here is you," he murmured to himself, gazing at the picture message on his Blackberry; Blair sitting on a bench in Central Park surrounded by the five girls that she commanded. She wore a pretty smile on her face, a rarity, but it did not reach her empty, blossomless eyes. The sharp lines of her cheekbones shone through her skin, her once golden tan fading into the perfect alabaster it had once been. The hair that had been straight and streaked with sunshine was now dark and perfectly curled, and a headband held it in place. The black painted fingernails had gone, replaced with a $200 manicure from the new place on Sixth. Gone was the leather and the edge, the exposure of skin. She wore high-knecked dresses and tights now, the simple beauty of her skin seemed to be long forgotten. Blair was back to 'normal', to how she had been viewed before her mother's suicide.

In the picture-message, Blair's rosy lips wore an empty smile. All Chuck saw was tragedy.

Even the tallest tree is stripped of power in the grip of winter's chill.

* * *

When the first snowflake fell, Blair was alone in her mother's old room. She sat by her window, book in hand. As she watched the tiny white crystal fall, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Who had she become?

Her mother's death had been a tragedy, there was no doubt about that, but Blair had been freed from the oppression and viligance of the UES because of it. She had truly forgotten how tiring it could be trying to keep everybody happy.

She had experienced the freedom of West Coast life. She had been a happy nobody. A rich nobody, but a happy nobody. The UES brought out the best and worst in her. It delivered her with confidence, grace, opportunity, but with it came fear, angst, depression, turmoil and the need to be absolutely impeccable at all times. Public opinion controlled her life. Bulimia gripped her tiny body in a vice, whispering to her that the only way to be happy was to throw up. _The only way to stay in control._

She had grown used to the voice inside her, become resigned to do it's every bidding. The voice inside that told her once more spoonful of low calorie yoghurt couldn't hurt, right? The voice that convinced her to order the chocolate cake at lunch with the girls. The voice that told her it would be absolutely fine if she had just one more bite of gateau at a social party.

The voice that made her feel fat and heavy. The voice that persuaded her to run just one more mile every day, just five more minutes of ruthless excersize. The voice that told her she was pathetic, useless, out of control. The voice that repeated over and over again that she was not and never would be good enough. The voice that blamed her imperfections for her mother's death.

Dorota knew, of course she did. If she didn't hear the steady rush of vomit from Blair's private bathroom after each and every meal, she could see it in the lines of Blair's cheeks, the sickly paleness of her skin, the padding Blair now needed in her bras.

Blair knew this, she knew the dangers, she knew exactly what she was doing to her body every single time she pushed her slender fingers down her throat.

But the voice inside whispered "_just once more". _Blair was a slave to the only true companion she had.

She was acing school. Her social life was incredible, as long as Blair gave the impression of being a chaste, respectable young lady who simply had the best interests of her classmates at heart, all the while plotting each and every single one of their downfalls because she had nothing else to do. Her love life was non-existent. She didn't want a one night stand with a useless nobody, and she especially didn't want a relationship with anybody who wasn't him, and he didn't want her.

Besides, no red-blooded male would want her. The bones of her ribs jutted dangerously from her cavity of her chest. Her hips were sharp. Her breasts were flat. Her hair was thin, dull and lifeless. And yet she recieved false compliment after false compliment on her weight loss, all the time avoiding the three people she could never hide from.

* * *

Serena, unsurprisingly, had lost interest in school life. She became a social nobody. The party girl was gone. Blair's transformation had transformed everyone.

The blonde withdrew into herself. She could see the frailty of her best friend, could see her vulnerability, her emptiness. As a best friend often can, she saw through Blair's fake smiles and $50 shampoo.

She knew that there was nothing that she could do.

Chuck, as usual, was M.I.A, as he often was when a loved one went into meltdown and he couldn't bring himself to deal with it.

Lily was having an extremely conspicuous affair with Bart's secretary.

Nate was failing school and spent most of his spare time with personal tutors, desperately clinging to his hope of USC.

Eric had a new boyfriend.

Blair was lost. Serena had only herself.

* * *

Not all change is good.

* * *

"I thought you'd be here."

Blair froze, her hand hanging akwardly midway to the laxative shelf in a small pharmacy she used regulary in the Lower East Side. She took a deep breath, wincing at the sharp pang of hunger in her stomach and turned to her addressor. She refused to meet the stern eyes of the blonde and stared at Serena's pretty red earrings hanging daintily below her delicate ears.

"It's not what you think..." She began, fidgeting and biting her lip anxiously.

Serena scoffed. "Of course it's what I think. I've been watching you come here every Tuesday afternoon for the past month and every single time you buy the same thing; two bottles of Vitamin water, mints and _those_," she indicated towards the shelf. "Why didn't you come to me Blair?"

Blair finally met Serena's eyes and something inside her tiny body snapped. "Why didn't I come to you? What a question to ask! You've been completely M.I.A for the past two months. I've called you at least six times. Kati and Iz have called you twice as many times as I have. Even _Penelope_ called you. Have you forgotten how to pick up a phone?" She spat sarcastically. "Maybe you and Nate should switch places, maybe it's really you who needs the tutors!"

The blonde looked defeated. "I'm sorry, B. I've had so much stuff going on.. I never even thought-"

"Exactly, Serena, you never even thought. Why should you? I'm Blair f-ing Waldorf, strong, bitchy, f-ing perfect. I'm the girl everybody wants to be. Perfect grades, top of the social ladder, I've just inherited a fortune, need I go on? Nobody ever thinks about how _I'm_ doing. And if they do think, they don't bother to ask because they're too scared of their leader being weak. Well screw all of you, I have my way of dealing with things and if you don't f-ing like it then you know exactly what you can do!"

Serena put a hand on Blair's upper arm and squeezed. Her eyebrows rose. "What do you weigh, Blair?" she asked softly, concern forming in her innocent blue eyes.

Blair sniffed and shrugged, brushing off the enquiry as if it was irrelevant. "I'm a little busy. Would you excuse me? Thanks."

"No, I won't _excuse_ you. You're sick! You're sick and you're scared and you need me, whether you're going to admit it or not. Now we can either go back to your apartment and you can call Dr Sherman, or I'll call Chuck right now and he can tie your hands together and force feed you cheeseburgers until you're 200 pounds. It's your decision."

Blair paled. "You wouldn't tell him."

Serena folded her arms. "I would. I miss you, B. And I know you miss me too." Blair smiled a small admittant smile, and the blonde went on. "Social hierarchy ain't got nothin' on Serena Vee Dee girlfriend!" The two giggled together, and for a moment, Blair forgot her troubles. It was a nice feeling, to forget her troubles.

"Fine. But, you have to swear you won't tell your Mom, or Eric, or even Nate. I can't handle them knowing this." _I can't handle Chuck knowing this. It would kill him. I can handle hurting myself, I could never really hurt him._

Serena lead Blair calmly from the pharmacy, stealing a quick, dangerous glance at the pregnancy tests behind the counter.

* * *

**(I had to update, it's short, I know, but I was inspired after like 9 months and just had to write before I lost the urge. I plan on updating every Friday night from now on if exams and homework allow. I have six more chapters planned and then an epilogue, so please bare with me! It's so good to be back!)**


End file.
